How Parents Respond In Divorced Situation

How Parents Respond In The Face of Divorce and The Impact On Their Children

Going through a divorce can be one of the more painful experiences in life, both for the couple and the children involved. As a couple separates and emotions are flying, they can become pitted against each other, often losing sight that their children are going through it along side them. Even when amicable, with children in the picture, divorce can be emotionally taxing, with significant lifestyle changes from new child custody arrangements to visitation schedules. Research confirms that how parents react to the stress of such changes, and the potential conflict faced through divorce, can significantly impact how their children develop.

When children are repeatedly exposed to conflict between parents, it can leave them feeling confused, unsafe, and with lasting feelings of vulnerability. Continued conflict can often negatively impact the quality of parenting in one or both parents resulting in children having increased difficulty adjusting to their family breaking apart (Amato & Keith, 1991; Kelly & Emery, 2003). This can translate into children getting derailed by having significant developmental delays, decreased school performance, potential mental health challenges, increased risk to drug use, and future legal problems. Inversely, research shows that if one parent maintains high quality parenting it can serve to buffer children from the potential negative impact of divorce and even more stabilizing if both parents maintain quality parenting.

So, what is meant by high quality parenting and how is it defined in reference to families facing separation and/or divorce? High quality parenting is correlated with children who have a positive adjustment through divorce. This refers to parents that are consistently involved in their children’s activities (e.g. interests, hobbies, or homework), develop a strong emotional connection with their kids (e.g. reciprocal feelings of closeness, positive connection, and secure attachment), and maintain authority in their parenting (e.g. effective discipline and positive affective relationships) Amato & Kieth,. Whereas a difficult adjustment through divorce tends to have a negative impact on a child’s development, a healthy adjustment during this period positively influences a child’s overall growth and development. Healthy, long term pathways that lead to increased ability to adapt (i.e. increased ability to self soothe, increased self reliance) and function (i.e. higher levels of academic success) are more likely in children who have high quality parenting during the significant challenges encountered through the process of divorce.

Research suggests that when a family is facing divorce it is a critical point in time for the overall family unit. This time can be imagined as a fork in the road and how parents respond to the challenges brought on by divorce will dramatically impact which path, developmentally, their children are more likely to take.

 

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"Lorem Ipsum is simply dummy text of the printing and typesetting industry. Lorem Ipsum has been the industry's standard dummy text ever since the 1500s, when an unknown printer took a galley of type and scrambled it to make a type specimen book."
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